Everybody has those days when you feel paranoid that nobody likes you and that you are ugly and mean, etc... Well, about four or five of us were feeling that way in the group today, including me. I kept trying to give myself pep talks and some space from the girls so I could calm down and read my scriptures and get a positive face on, but Satan kept hitting me low blows. I felt so lonely and wretched.
All of this mainly happened after a really short nap on the way to Durham Cathedral. It was a beautiful cathedral, but I don't think I looked at it very closely because I was sitting there wondering why no one wanted to look at the cathedral with me. And then I did find Lauren and Janelle, but got separated from them shortly after and ended up wandering Durham by myself and getting lost for about a half hour. It felt more like a few hours. Anyway, I got myself back to the coach parking lot about an hour earlier than we were supposed to go there, so I grabbed my Book of Mormon and decided to read it in the park nearby. I did that and felt somewhat settled and less angry at the whole situation. However, once the girls boarded the bus and started talking very loudly, I put my ear plugs in and tried to fall asleep again instead of being social. Katelyn noticed and made sure I was okay. This was greatly appreciated. I really needed to know that someone cared.
Anyway, on to better things:
Today we went to Hadrian's fort. It was pretty neat and we got to look at a cool river and play around. At this point, I was still a happy camper. We took a lot of pictures and just talked. The sun was out (which does not happen often in Scotland) and there was a good feeling around us. Because it was so good, I am sure Satan tried extra hard on us today.
Next, we went to Durham - I already talked about that
And then we arrived in York. What a quaint little medieval town! I love it. We had a Viking feast at one of the halls and ate real venison and then we watched a slideshow of the study abroad so far. I'm going to miss it all! I am sad to leave. We then had a small variety show which included a few skits, some readings, and a silly synchronized dance. I loved it all!
Still trying to get over those rough feelings, but I am sure I will wake up tomorrow to a brighter day.
Love,
Jazlyn
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